yay!! for now...

Finally I finished my sem 1 exams... So relieved and the best thing is I dont have to even bother doing time series ( chap in QS, quantitative studies). I'm still glad eventhough I dont have any idea how to do 3 probability questions. I lost 9 marks but wth. I wanna do something while having my 3 weeks of holiday now. I wanna make cookies and lagsania and other stuff which required an overn. I bought a new OVEN!!! Finally, and I could do more kinds of food with it. Other than that, I'm gonna drive the new car that we traded the kenari for. And I'm so excited cause its my dream... brand. Not the car I dreamt of but close enough. Although its around 11 years old but it still works like magic. Cant wait... HEHEHEHEHE!!! I wanna watch moonlight renassaince (ka hou yuet yuen : in canton )again. Still so addicted to it eventhough I had watch it already sometime back. So happy finally a break since I had to get up at 6am just to study the stupid quantitative studies till around 11am. After that, I studied summore in the lrt. If I fail, I dont know what to say. Maybe just give up and do something else. Something which makes me happier than business. Having second thoughts sometimes about the course which I have choosen but I had already gone quite deep in it already. I cant picture myself somewhere with some other friends doing some different course. I have great friends here. I'm lucky. hahahah

Just wanna tell ya'll that have fun bbq-ing!!! and dont drink and drive and dont stay up so late partying without me :)!!!! lolz....

...happy ever after ( for now.... )

The Answer I would die for...

I could break down easily.. Shattered within a second. I could wake up the next day with a smile on my face. I could be the best that I could ever be. Makes everything effortless. Even pain couldnt stop me from doing anything. I was strong and unstoppable. Regardless of anything or anyone who would turn their back on me. Fearless. All of which I am when I'm with you. Perhaps it's love. Or is it just an illusion of what I felt. Now after a few years now I still cant get you off my mind. It's coming back. I may seem disloyal but deep inside I had already given my heart to you. Given everything. It may look like I'm with another but I am darn sure that I could never feel what I felt when I'm around you. Or as simple as talking to you. Severely kept inside my heart for a long time so deep till you cant even see it. I' m sorry. I was wrong. You got hurt. I got a giant scar and swollen eyes from the rain that it had cause me. I believe that its true. It was always there. You just had to keep it inside, deep inside where you dont need to take it out or show it to anyone even yourself. I could bet my life it was there. After all of this I still have hope. I still have strength. I still have the feeling. and the most of all I'm still waiting. I hope that I could find the key that I had lost. I hope I find it soon. I'll find you, somebody, I will take myself half way across the world, hoping to find you. Till then please wait. I know we'll grow old. Will meet many wonderful people and will fall in love. I'm not searching for the love but an answer that I had to know. Wish you well. And be strong for yourself as things in life may hurt you. I cant be there. I cant be seen. But I know I can be felt.

...the interdict answer

all i need is the drive...

Now currently studying microecons I am trying to fight the fact that my bed is calling out for me. I am doing my best to not hear its call. he only thing which stands in its way is the fact that something I have made me realize and be more aware of what am I suppose to do, what is more important and the most important of all the willingness to do something. A drive which I had lost years ago which made me do things I could only imagine. I felt like I was possessed in a good way weirdly and just stop being the usual slacker me which things just slide to me effortlessly. I felt such a cheat when I have control over my imagination and the mentality of my brain. It is when sometimes you just dont control or think what you're doing and just appear in the moment when you open your eyes. Its something that I had not used in a long time and I'm trying to work it out again. I hope that this thing I'm gonna do doesnt have any side-effects and misunderstanding towards others. As it did happened before, I dearly sorry as I was acting with my brain instead f my heart. Anyways, I did have an interesting day and the night had just started. Hope my brain doesnt fries up when I need it so dearly tomorrow.

...mind control freak

really... levia really??!!

I dont know what else to say here but I just felt like updating my blog. I do have a question lurking and lingering around my mind and here it is " Has your dreams somehow had crossed your reality?" For me I dream all the time. That is why I like to sleep and just shut down. I dream of everything I want and actually dream of many happy endings with people who are so special and important to me but I'm not in a chance to be with them. Call me a lunatic but I am starting to lose it. I dont bother whatever is gonna happen in reality as long as I can sleep and dream. I have been questioned by my parents why do I sleep so much till they convince me to see a doctor or something. I guess this is slowing eating my sanity away. I totally freaked out and I'm too blurred. Stuff and places which I have dreamt had actualy came to reality and it freaks me out. Suddently I came across something that was so familiar and I havent been into that place before. Not only places but also people. I wonder if my dreams are actually potential future stuff. Ok now I'm being stupid and farfetched. Its ok to think about weird connections to stuff which actually do happen once awhile.

...symptom : to much 'inception'

the question where many pause when asked...

The magic question.. " Is it worth the feeling of love when you eventually know its gonna hurt?" I was inspired by this question when it hit me as I was reading a blog of my friends. Some may think twice upon answering some might ignore it but a handful others will say yes. I have been amazed how love can transform someone and make people do things they only could dream of. Believe me I had been a believer since it happened. Though it was a long time ago, this thing called love I had not a clue what it was. How it happened and why does people are willing to do amazing and sometimes stupid things caused by it. My amazement about love had left me question the unanswered. To come to think of it, love changes the world and many happenings which had happened had a link to love. Some people fight for it, some die for i and some might even live by it. I know the feeling of it and the feeling of hurt. It not only had give people faith but also the many unsung others scars which they die together with. So if I ever was asked this question this is how I'll reply. " Love doesnt come and go as often. Some had waited forever but it hasnt reached to them. There cant be many who can take hold of my heart and the simple word of I love you could make you tear and weaken your foolish heart. For all of the love I had felt and lost. I think for each second of the presence of love around you in your whole heart. I know it is worth every second of my life that I'm lucky enough to feel it for just once."

Now I know why...

...the most beautiful thing of all mankind

when all you have is a hint of hope left...

After all along, I know that "this" wont happen again. Even if I wanted it so badly, I know deep inside I'm too late to reach out for it. As I dwell along this life I have following the wind wherever it takes me, I hope that somehow I'll end up living life comfortably. I'm just gonna do what I had to do and get myself to where I wanna be. Another 4 more years hanging on here. I'm not gonna lie that it's an easy ride with the memories of you keep dropping by my lonesome mind makes it even harder to concentrate and to see clearly. Certain days when I have great days and certain days having a wrekking week. I could go insane if this keeps going on. I'm clueless. Most of the time I feel so tired by doing nothing. I'm gonna use that lil hope that I have left to put myself out of misery. I'm depressed but trying not to show any of it. To tell the truth I hate answering questions when it is thrown for me to answer. I'm tired. Whenever there is you I hope I'l meet you half way around the world or anywhere else. I want this again. Please hear me out.

..if you ever had the time to listen

crazieee surveys!!! numba 2

Finish The Sentence

Finish The Sentence I love... pure fruit smoothies...

Right now I want... heavy caramalized buttered popcorn

I feel like... shit..

I hate it when... i have to do stuff over and over again for no stupid reason..

I fear... butterflies..

I'm lonely without... my computer/phone/music/astro/dvd\'s

I need... more time....

Today I... didnt do anything...

Tomorrow I'm... gonna study.. I hope...

I just... ate an apple..

I want to meet... Megan Fox...

I'm hungry for... a double GBC burger...

I love it when... it rains

I'm afraid of... commitment and the lost of freedom

I'm listening to... busted

I'm wearing... a hat,shirt,ladies boxers..

I wish I was in... USA!! or venice or rome...

I want to get... everything i want

I can't... forget bout something...

I'm nervous to... call you...(you know who you are)

My Mom thinks I'm... a splitting image of her

My Dad thinks I'm... his so called "son"

I'm happy when... everything with you and me worked out

I'm sad when... shit happens...

I'm disappointed that... I would not succeed

I wish I looked like... myself..

...a lil bit of "me"