patience is a virtue...

Saying that I wannna start on January well.... I guess not . It's because I cant make it and I really need some time to think about which one I'm gonna choose. I am rather confused and I really dont wanna waste money if I wanna start in January. The fact is the pilot thing is after my results and if I ever get the cadetship I have to leave my pre-U and wasting a whole lot of money. Well no harm waiting right and piloting is the first pirority now other than going into a college doing my pre-U. So if you guys starting in January well good luck. I'll be going later. Other than that I pierced my lip... lolz... hahah yea... and its not that bad at first its annoying but now is rather ok. My parents know bout it but now it about to heal I'll wear it off and on. Anyways, the prom is SUPER awsome!!! and the clubbing and the not so nice food but everyone was happy to be there. I went back early becoz I have to work the next day. All and all everything's fine and sorry for not updating for ahwhile now. Work is a hard thing to do and money is a hard thing to earn. So people please appreciate money and spend it wisely if not you seriously regret it. Love you guys class of 09'. Always have a place in my heart.

....a break of silence

Fear of Accounts...

You guy know that after SPM we all go into a college. There we'll start with a foundation or pre-U. I decided to take a foundation on business or the Canadian Program to start from. Unfortunately, in that pre-U subject the subject which I have to take must include accounts. I panicked and start freaking out coz I totally suck in Accounts and start making excuses not taking business. I totally freaked out. I was so paranoid till I pissed my mum off for a whole week because of this. Now I'm still "bo song" her. None of them understand how I feel and I feel very pressure at this moment. I wanna become a pilot but does this mean that my life would take a turn away from what I wanna do and be happy doing? I guess so but I dont belive so because I am not a person who gives up so easily. Freaked out at first but who knows. Maybe Accounts will be ok for me.... gua.

...figures and bullshit

chasing a dream

Is it worth chasing a dream without knowing whatever is the aftermath? I really gotta say that chasing a dream is tiring and sometimes disappointing. I am in a chase now and it gets real after my spm results are out. I wanted so much but am I deserving enough to be given to? I have to say for the first time in my life I seem fragile and clueless, with a lil scared but somehow excited and everything. I never felt this way before. I dont really like it. Seconds felt like its ticking continuously slowing everything into a stop. I just wanna know whats for me to make me safe at least to cure my sense of curiosity and calm my over-reactive thinking. Some just give up on the chase and just lead a simple normal life which they stick to it till the day they die. Do I wanna live a simple boring life? NO! I wanna live life to the fullest and do crazy things along the way. I have so much things I wanna do and expectations so high to achieve. I'm just afraid I couldn't do so. I dont wanna live in regret and doing something I'm not happy with. No matter what comes in my way I'll still hold on to it for my dear life. I made a promise I will make things better as I have only 1 chance to live and love life itself.

... chasing a dream,livin a life

True happiness

There are sometime and some reason to let someone go or do something that you dont really like just to make someone happy even it removes you from the picture or just to see that one smile of theirs. The point is , is it really happiness when i do so or happiness just to see someone happier? Which would you choose? I keep telling myself that could I bear to do so? I am currently happy now but I find it weird because whenever I achieve something or bought something I wanted for a really long time I would feel really happy but now nothing seems to satisfy my happiness when my heart is aching everyday and every second just thinking about stuff. Yea I know you're happy now although I'm not there but is that the real meaning of happiness of seeing someone happy to make you happy. I havent been happy for almost 3 years now. I'm not depressed but happiness I am receiving now is just not enough to life the pain away. I guess I wouldnt get this load off my beating heart for a long time in the future because nothing I know would even lift it up even for a second for a breath of air. I need someone to take it all away and keep me off thinking about stuff which only exist in a story.

...stay happy even when I'm gone

Merdeka?!! My foot....

After Spm they say " Waaaaa now merdeka la finish Spm already can relax ma..." and others "Soo good no need to go school already summore can rest for 3 months". Well if you see it on the surface its so but the real truth is its not merdeka and there are 1001 things for me to do after that. Not only no more school, I have traded it for driving lessons, college, job and allowance cuts. I have to find a job right after my college starts and guess what I haven even register yet. Though I am certain there is a place for me in Taylor Business College in SS15 but I wanna get it done as soon as possible especially I wanna go for the January intake of next year. I know its kinda late but seriously my parent are both busy and no one is taking me there to do the registration and all. Now currently I am scouting for a driving school here in Melacca (and yes I'm in Melacca now by the way). To my conclusion here the rates are cheaper especially the L licence and the P. The rate for the undang is the same so no point doing here. But for the L and P I may do it here as it is cheaper and faster. Other than colleges and driving schools, I have to help my aunty shift her house from KL to Puchong. She has bought a house in Bandar Puteri Puchong. The location is awesome! Her house is on top of a very high hill and the view at night there is amazing. I actually really like that place and I have to make way on my busy schedule for helping her. Next I got a week job from my mom's friends in her office. Data entry. Dem boring and I basically sit there and sort stuff, enter numbers into the computer and photostat alot of papers. Its boring but I have doing that job for 4 years now. Every holiday I go there and work and make some pocket money. To let you guys into a secret I really hate working in an office especially that office. Shhhhh dont tell anyone please... Now I'm taking time off in my hometown after a month of studying and exams. Oh yea.... I may be going out on the 22 or 23 to midvalley and just chillax for a moment before all the busy-ness flood in.

...busy is what people do these days

Catch-up : Spm Day 1

The catch-up series which I created is to update you guys bout the SPM paper of 09' so that you wont be left out as you guys who are the readers of this blog will always know about moments in my life. Moving on, day before the first day of SPM I had a couple of sms-es from very supportive people wishing me good luck and just chill through the whole thing. Thanks alot and you really make my day (you know who you are) and it really helps and I look at it almost everytime before the paper starts just to gain strength from it. I really appreciate it. The exam started of with Bm 1 and 2. The papers were ok but I was nervous bout the komsas part and suprisingly I know how to do it. Not saying its easy but its do-able. Next was sejarah paper 1. Thank god its paper 1 if not my hand would be so busted up of writing and to make matters worse its only the beginning. The sejarah paper was also acceptably normal. I was actually freaking out but as usual levia yam puts a calm expression with a freaking out inner self.

.... day one of the beginning

i'm back

Woah after a month out from blogging i nearly forgot this blog of mine exist. Anyways, geography paper just finished and I have like a ton of updates which I wanna let you guys know and I am really excited bout life outside school. So many things to do so little time. How on earth could I do stuff in so little time? I wish that I could like split into a couple of levia's just to finish stuff and satisfy everyone needs. Life is kinda slow and the SPM updates will be posted soon. Just to let you guys know that this blog is active again after a gruelling month stop.

....back and movin'