This year is different. This marks the beginning of something new. Something that I should have done a long time ago. You're gonna turn older in a short time and this time I'm not gonna wish you. Which I promised you I 'll send this message each year for my whole life no matter where ever you are. I have to break that promise. If not I could never move on. Great things in the future would not reach me as I am still holding onto the past with these shaky hands. I'm not gonna lie its tempting. Now I know how much I mean to you and for even one last time to see you before you go we both cant make any effort to make it possible. It was all a big disaster. Now without you I still feel the same. But to forget the person who I knew so well, that is hard to forget. It thought me something really important but for the price of a deep cut to the core of my heart. I'm still silent. I'm still struggling. I'm fighting. I didnt read your blog for a long time now. And that lets me to let loose even more. I'm glad I'm progressing but not everything is over now. Now I know why, if we ever did make it so say goodbye, I couldnt function and you'll leave with more disappointment. Stupid.. Things could have gone better if we wer'nt like this... Nice to know you're smiling and there is nothing I could do now but to just say...
Happy Birthday
You're soon legal but dont screw up your life eventhough you are allowed to drink in public.. I cant bear to see you like that again.. You know better... :)
...empty wishes
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