I was born and I was given love at the very first breath. I grew older and met people with a different kind of love. Friendship. Later at 9, I had a passionate love. Love of sports. I decide to give as much love as I can as it also loves me back. I was really on top of the world with this love. Its like nothing will ever stop me from loving it. All of it. Later I got a pet dog and I fell love when it licked my face and its cute fluffy fur. I melted. It was different. I had to take responsibility to love it. That kept me loving it for years. Later I was struck with love at my very first sight at 14. Te feeling was out of this world and it did gave me some kind of secure and insecure sense of my state. I was heads over heels. I never felt this before and I wanna to know more. As soon as I reach a year older, I was overwhelmed with joy. Something made me know that I wasn't alone feeling this. I was caught off guard and remembered every moment of it. Its like embedded in my mind and no matter how much I tried to shake it, it would never leave. That love for that year was out of this world. The amount of words I put to describe it is never enough to paint the exact feeling or situation I was in. I indeed was in cloud 9. Floating as if I could never fall back to earth. The year ended and I though love was going to fade away. I cried and I though it was over. When I was 16, I fell in love again. This love wasnt like the first one. I loved and later it grew paler and paler as time goes by. I dont understand how could the first love be more powerful than the second as I spent more time with the second. I still couldnt understand why. I tried to find the reason why by analyzing and asking a million of questions where nobody could answer me. All I got was 'fate'. That made me think. How could the first be so choreographed and sculpted to perfection and then burned by the flame of misery and the devil, time. Though it was all caught in flames, the spirit and the soul still remains. It came back and hunt me from time to time where I still have images of you. I kept having dreams till reality for me had gone blurry. There are time I hallucinate in broad daylight and feel things that weren't there at night. I had a problem. I knew I needed help. I called a friend and she made me wake up. For only a moment. Then I was then back to my old habit again. Now I have no love. No love for anything and everything is meaningless to me. Just a black shadow. I live in darkness. A world with no colour. When I knew, I count the days till you leave for something more important. I knew this had to come. I am prepared. I will break down and that moment will stick to my mind. I will continue on my life and do whats best for me. Go to UK and perhaps work there if its possible. Then I'll save a lot of money and migrate to where you are. Staying in San Francisco or New York. From every free time there I'll find you with clues you gave out. I will live hunting. And when all hope is lost I will watch upon you from far. Knowing that you're always happy and have a great life. Life with no regrets. Whatever it takes. Like a guardian angel looking after you. When I die at around 82, I'll take my last breath and close my eyes with the memory of you. The thought of you. And everything that I loved. This is love. Love is the immortal.
.... my immortal
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