MERDEKA!!!....in just awhile more

The number 52 is the number for the country this year. As always Merdeka is when the day where parades are held in the streets blocking all the shopping malls and jamming the whole city which will eventually yield all your shopping throughout this special holiday. If you are thinking that's the case than I'm sorry to say that you are not truly a Malaysian. Tomorrow is the day which our country celebrates its Independence after the ruling of the British. I'm not gonna bore you with all the sejarah stuff but to tell you guys something else. What I wanna say is as a Malaysian we must remember this date as long as we are alive and well. Malaysia is where we live,grew up and create our fondest memories. I am so lucky to be born as a Malaysian because:

1) The Food.

2) The unique places and world heritages.

3) The only country which is still intact with its traditions as well as modernization.

4) The different culture and languages which surrounds me.

5) And the valuable lesson which is learnt by each and every Malaysian is Unity.

I am proud to be a Malaysian and I hope that we live in unity and peace. How 'bout you?

Happy birthday Malaysia

...semangat merdeka dari hatiku

5th day progress report...

bon appétit

Ok.. now its he 5th day of our holiday and I think there are really mushrooms growing on my head now. I've been so bored and the reason why I'm not updating this since.... i dunno 3-4 days... is my mum doesnt even allow me to touch the computer cause of a force study method she is using. Anyways I am sneeking to update my blog and currently I am still alive and breathing. Yesterday in tution, we disected a frog. Again. Me and drew were like ok disecting.... chilling but the people there went ape shit over it. Lolz... hahah they were like wow...cool...omg...ewwww....holy shit both of us just chillaxing cutting the frog up. After all that, there was this crazy dude who wanted to eat the frog's heart. He went to the mamak stall downstairs and took limau' and as soon as he brought it up he washed the heart,queezed lime on it and everyone was like"OMg this crazy dude is so hungry and has been puasa-ing like forever." The frog eater dude was like" You want me to swallow it or chew it?" As usual people went crazy chearing CHEW CHEW CHEW!!!. All camera's out and people started to record it. He ate it. Chewing slowly and saying that it taste like chicken and oyster mix. Weird guy but it was fun though. My teacher almost threw up and he was so disgusted lolz... hahaha and I'm not sure if that video is in yu tube now but that tution day was super fun. Fun class and weird acts.

PS: frog-eater dude... please make your presence during tution because we wondered if you are still alive and living.

...meeting crazy people along the path of life

deep in your heart...

After yesterday, I know that I mean shit to you right now. So I'm the stupid one again. Yay!... Screw all those thing s we did cause I've been waiting here like a stupid fool and still remember everything. And the best part is you don't even know how much you mean to me. How would you feel if someone important to you lie straight to your face but you cant say anything about it. All you said was lies and that point I just smiled cause now I know the real you. I just fell for the stupid mask which you wore everytime. I'm not sorry that I've cheated but I tell you this is it was actually the right thing to do. Just continue to be miserable cause now I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! I'm leaving finally and I feel so much better doing so. I'll just pretend that nothing had happened cause now it doesn't really matter anymore. Go and continue to rot and be some shitty person who I knew wasn't. I cant believe I have waited for about 2+ years now.... Fuck everything, Fuck memories and finally Fuck you for making me waiting and actually loving you.

...free-bird I'm back to my old habits

Is it me?

All those thing you say, is it referring to me? I'm scared you say that I am perasan or something but it sound parallel to what we've done. I cant say anything unless you tell me its true and all those things i was thinking is real.

...just wanna know the truth

lonely thinking...

I walked away and cause I need time to think alone. Just thinking about would I ever see you again. Everytime wherever I go I wish that I'll somehow run into you. But that never happen. Whenever I have quiet time, I always ask myself the same question "Am I the only one who felt this way? What's next? When will this feeling go away? What to do without you?" All these questions keep circling around my head and making my hope stronger each day. From another angle, I feel stupid waiting for something that is never gonna happen and wanting the impossible. Keeping the past in my heart but I had tried to move on. The problem is I cant move on willingly eventhough I want to do so. I just want you to know that you are better than who you are now and the person who I use to know is not like this. Although I'm not in the picture I hope that you turn back to the person who I know and fell for.

...excusing myself from noisiness

Update....

Sorry for not updating cause I was busy with my SPM trails... So anyways, all the papers were ok and today chemistry was the last paper. Finally. Everything is ok and the next thing is tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is THE MERDEKA celebration of my school. The last one I'll ever have...sob...sob... I tried on my 'cheongsam' top yesterday and guess wat... It cant fit. Since I don't own any other traditional clothes, I went to buy one. I bought this black baju kurung which has kinda like a gold thread stitching. It was ok and that was the first time actually buying one for myself. The others which I previously wear was all my moms'. I had to do so now because I have already outgrown her. Hahahaha. And yea... tomorrow we're going pyramid to release stress and relax from our stressed out 2 weeks and a well deserved 1 week holiday to slow things down. Time is taken for the 1 week to study for D-day on 18th of November. Everything's cool except bout a friend of mine. I am still figuring out what went wrong because she just exploded recently which had made us puzzled and confused here. Just wanna say if she reads this... " Hey... I dont know what made you so upset but we here in SSC are still your friends and we still care for you. It is maby we're too caught up with stuff in school which made you feel left out like that. Seriously it was hectic. We are here still your friends and wanna fix everything which had caused you to misunderstand the situation. Anytime just talk to us. We wanna hear you out. "

....tired need rest ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If you every find this blog...

If you ever find this blog which I have created I just wanna let you how I feel and those times when I'm without you. All those stupid things we did and staying up till the early morning playing and talking. Waking up still half awake but soldier on to the next day. Having fun when its like its gonna last forever. The person whom I will always remember and miss the most. Its you and I swear its true. Whenever I'm with someone else I wish that the person is you. Times when I feel so down till the breaking point you're there to make me smile by just doing something random. Your smile is there whenever I had no words to say. And the laughter which I know is the purest. You are the song which I hear and the things I see and the thing I felt. Things had changed but this remains unbreakable by time. Scared of losing you and we didn't know whats real and fake we just lived in assumptions and guessing. All those silent moments and lonely places which I've been I wish you're there just beside me. Nights that I've cried because I'm afraid that you'll go way and forgetting everything which what we were. I know its not happening now but I'll always have whats left for me to remember which is YOU.

...what it was like before

Confirmation...

And yes..... I have Gastric... Weeeeee yay!!!

Possible effects...

My stomach hurts. This has kept me worrying for about a week now. Not knowing whats wrong, I just ignore it. Today it got worse. I told my mum about it and she said that there is a possibility that I am having gastric. I was like '' Cannot be mah... I got eat wut..." As I'm typing now.. MY STOMACH STILL HURTS AND IT GETS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND IRRITATING!!!! I took some pills and there is still no effect. If this goes on I'm gonna be so ****ed up when the results are positive. Hoping that all this over thinking don't make the scene turn out to be true.

...worried sick

Step 1 : Butterflies in your tummy

As SPM arrives the one of the first symptoms faced by the victims are the feeling of butterflies in their tummy's. There also the possibility of lacking of sleep, feeling anxious, and the most common the feeling of worrying. These could be cured right after SPM immediately. So far there is no record of death found which is caused by this sickness. Over a few million get infected every year. Teenagers who reach the age of 17 in Malaysia are forced to undergo this disease which somehow the results comes in handy in the future.

...curing the incurable

The Great 70...

Yesterday I had dinner with my family in PJ. The occasion was my grandpa had turned 70. I was also shocked myself because he wasn't like every other 70 year old man which sits at home and enjoys his pension money. Actually my grandad had been told many times that he don't look like 70 but more like 60++. All he did was laughed. The dinner was great and I ate alot.Everyone was happy especially my grandpa. I saw his expression when we sang the song and made a wish blowing off the candles. I was very happy for him. I couldn't stop wondering what did he wished for but no matter how my mind wonders its still about the 4D and 4 ekor. Hahah and that time was the first time I saw my grandma kissed my grandpa on the cheek.... HAHAHAHAHAHA so cute... Everyone was teasing them that day.

Happy 70th Birthday Grandpa!

May all your wishes come true.

...joy of the number 70

something which was strong...

tears which uncontrollably flow

felt like my heart has been pierced by my own bone

hard to swallow

overwhelm with pain

a sip of water which taste like hard liqour

swallowing the things that happened

blood which supposed to be thicker than water

ended up as diluted as air

trying to be strong

holding back the tears

it gets harder each time

everytime i get weaker and weaker

waking up to a new day, a new beginning

just a split second

it falls and shatters like a piece of glass

i had to hurt myself to pick it all up

fragile like a bond

i'm trying to be hard as steel to bear with it

consequences are there to show themselves

which i could not stop

the moment starts to haunt me

bit by bit

as it pulls me to become weaker

ever happening ever hurting

... broken ties

What I think....

1. Levia

2. Joanne

3. Avinaash

4. Rachel

5. Andrew

6. Matthew

7. Azraai

8. Augustin

9. Vincent

10. Huey Li

(oldest to youngest)

Questions:

How do you know 1?

1?? still in the process of knowing her. She's hard to figure out and it takes time....

What would you do if you never met 2?

My life will be so boring and less dumbness in it... lolz...

would 3&4 make a good couple?

Not sure..hard to say... Hmmmm.....

What would do if 5 & 6 dated you?

5... I'll be what the hell is wrong with this world...

6...2 words just 2 words JUDGEMENT DAY....

Do you think is 7 attractive?

.....Yes in a cute way.. So dem adorable... like a walking life-size teddy bear....

do you know anything about 8's family?

Has 5 bro's and sis... big family... and they all live in Kota Kemuning...

tell me something about 9

He is sometimes weird and sometimes very sweet... Good in alot of things which I suck in... Sometimes kinda lan ci but he's ok overall....

what language does 10 speak?

English and BM and a lil bit of cantonese which sounded cacated and weird mandarin.... lolz..hahahhaha

Who is 1 going out with?

1?? who knows.... i dunno ...nobody knows.. but only god knows....

How old is 2?

17 but has a brain of a 3 year old...hahahahha

3 single?

Not sure... but I really think he is...

who is 4's favourite singer?

OMG do i need to say it.... KOREAN AND i think a lil bit of david archuleta

what is 5's last name?

YEEEEEEEEEEEE chin WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIII!!!!!

what school does 6 go to?

school??? more like work.. he's never in school mode....HE's always missing vit his wife... but anyways... he's in SSC vit all of us....

what do u dislike abotu 7?

mood swings.... woooh....

would you consider being in a relationship with 8?

nope... i dunno... what??

would you date 9?

.....i hope not (again)... lolz...

what is 10 good at?

Hitting andrew... shutting matthew up... korean and asian guys.... explaining about stuff after spm... dunno alot....

What do you like about 1??

abou1??hmmm... why not you tell me...

Do you find 2 annoying??

annoying??? nope....

What is 3's darkest secret??

dunno.... how would i know peoples darkest secrets????

What's 5 like??

sometimes argue about something which is totally dumb and stupid... horny...very..at times... funny... and likes cars i guess....

What would you do without 6??

without 6??? my world has no sound.... lolz..hahahhaha

What does 7 love the most??

....erm... not really sure....

What's the funniest thing 8 has ever done??

P and C... hahahahahha but to tell you its dem funny....

Do 9 and 10 make a cute couple??

Yes.... hahahahahaha

PS: All for the sake of fun....

....What i really think....

Float like a butterfly...Sting like a bee...

As when I'm going thru a hard time getting over someone, I only could think of when can this be over. The day which I've been wanting so much is now. Since all has past, I am feel so light like I could just flyaway and smile. The feeling of freedom after love is what I am experiencing now. I am finally problem free and to tell you the truth I feel better than how I was years ago. Whenever the song I gotta feelin comes up, I feel that there are times which we could have a good night afterall. When I am feeling light, I am preparing for SPM seriously and hope that my results that I'm gonna get is one of my best. I really want things which I've planned happen so I'mma work for it....

Float like a butterfly,Sting like a bee

with keys of ignition and the gloves of Ali

to and fro of the watery sea, the sunlight shines on me

i finally know now...

I know how you feel but I still cant move till you tell me,

Everytime we pass by your eyes look straight looking for mine,

How can I be so stupid not to see

That the one who really is in love with me is here all the time.

We ignored each other a few times,

Sad but I still think of you,

I hope that we're fine,

I only wanna to be with you.

I was blinded by everyone but now i know how you feel,

What you said wasnt easy to let out,

I wont do a thing until you tell me its real,

By doing so we wont be in doubt.

... words tell me but wasnt convinced enough