When the "great" is gone...

I was especially tired the past few days as I didn't have enough time and energy to post anything. The reason was... my great grandmother passed away( my dad's mothers mother). It was actually expected because she was bed ridden for about a month. Unfortunately I wasn't close with her as I am one of the oldest great grandchild. She has around 8 children and 20 grandchild's. Not forgetting 9 great grand children. I only visited her every Chinese new year and for some occasions. Everything went as planned and no one was emotional till the third day if the ceremony. I saw my relatives and my grandma cried. Everyone who was there also shed at least a tear. She was 90. Friday was the day she got cremated. That was where everyone really cried and I did cried too. That day everyone came to mind that she is gone.... gone forever. Although I wasn't that close with her I did felt the pain when one of your family had passed. I really felt it and everyone did. She is dearly missed and forever remembered. Still abit emotional talking bout it but I just wanna let you guys know.

Rest in Peace Voo Fok Tai my beloved great grandmother

...gone

late as usual...

I'm supppppppeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr sorry guys for the late update. I guess you guys might think that this blog is DEAD!!! But I promise it will NEVER DIE!!!! Anyways what have I been up to.... Hmmmmm??? I have been to the Starbucks interview but they said that they would call back somewhere around early February. Like 5 minutes later, I had a call and I have already secured a job. Due to that I have no time to update because I'm busy working now. Not a boring desk job again but as a barista. I cam currently working in a cafe in Digi's main office. Been there for two days only and now loving it. Have several burns by the coffee maker and a cut attempting to cut the skin of an orange. Everything was great there the hours are not that bad and the people there are reallllyy nice. When you're there, you can see their passion of making food and perfecting everything . Such dedicated people. I was stuffed by food there. Not ordinary food but seriously super duper nice excellent awesome food!!! Neglecting to waste anything I ate it all. Who could ever find a job like that???!!! And the starbucks job..... hahahah no need la.... Already planned to work there till end of April. I have to attend a food and beverage management course this Sunday. And to top it up I have to take a special JAB!!!!!! for the sake of people that I'm serving. (government policy....) So if you guys are wondering your food will be super safe and totally edible because humans in the food and beverage management business will be clean too for your sake.


... 2010 rocks!!! WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!

a whole other way of the road...

I got a shock. Yesterday became really unexpected. Went out to check out my college and guess what? I got lost there. Its so frikin huge like 10 times the size of ssc. I thought it would be like taylors or sunway but I was utterly shocked. After wondering around I went into the library and its bigger than the Hall of Character in our school... Just imagine that huge building is only the frikin library. Everything was bigger than expected and kinda nervous too. It took like 45 minutes to get there so its not as far as I was expected. Today while talking bout my future possibilities, my dad had encouraged me to not comeback and stay in UK after my Masters. Just imagine yourself in UK... 14 hours away from home. I still remain cool but shaking like a leaf inside. What about people here? What about Malaysia? What about everything? I was encouraged to leave my life here and be somewhere else I'm not sure of. I guess I had to leave you too. I wanted to be around but if things happen I guess I cant. Anyways its like another 5 years or so till I'll be in that situation. So no harm looking a bit further rite??

...UK -ish

(untitled)

Hearing the sounds of silence through the halls,

I closed my eyes to remember the familiar voices,

I tried hard but eventhough I had done it

I'm still not around

Where was I?

My heart is had gone lost and sometimes stopped beating

Akwardness.

Full of spirit but there is no goal,

Trying to figure out the purpose of me being here,

As it felt like forever and thus useless

I wander around my quiet head

Nothing like what I imagine

Its like bits of me is everywhere

Restless.

Dreamt big hurdles were bigger

Have I have strength to jump above them?

Or tumble on the ground doing so,

Has anyone to pick me up or have I do it alone.

Guided to be fallen.

No one hasnt fall and they able to guide

Does this made any sence?

Clueless.

Perfect is what everyone wanted

Planned, Thought and determined

Plans were ment to follow but

Has everyone reached them?

Impromptu mishaps changes lives

To better and for worse.

Nothing is forever.

Greatness.

Life is greater than you think. No one will ever figure it out till they had left life.

...amazed

happy..not so... when something is lost

The messages that A had to hold on to throughout the days which makes A feel better is gone. Important dates on A's calender of have A's fondest memories of time is also gone forever. A's is not happy but sad. Something new is not always better but what A had in A's hands before was better than all the money in the world. It's not just something that you get everyday but something that had been there for quite sometime. How is A gonna get through life without them? A wonder. Things which A needs the most is not there. Perhaps it indicates a beginning of A's life. A new chapter. A new page. Now without C in the picture A has not been broken. Not how A was when with B. A is stronger now but as stronger A get's the more numb A feels when A finds another. A had lost A's first love and A cant do anything about it. B was gone for the better. But the fact when B comes and goes makes it even harder. C is gone too but A has learnt to build fences at A's heart so that A wont get hurt again. A grew scared and protective..... not stronger as it may seem. For all the support B and C gave once in the palms of A. But now its gone forever and A doesn't know how long will it take to have another. May seem never. A wonders "If to start something new one must delete the past and not be attach to it?" A is clueless. Nevermore lifeless as A starts to find some other. "First love is always remembered as it changes you forever" says A. What if A cant love like A use to? What if A cant love again? How long will A be lost and needed to be found?? No one could help A and no one could do anything about it. Sad to see but life goes on as it hurts ever step forward and lose identities of the past. Wherever A goes A will be carrying a scar of B as long as A's heart is still pumping and breathing. No one knows who is the real A.

..what's lost cant be found

out with the old in with the new....

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I just bought a new phone. Haven bought one is 10 years can you believe that??!!! For some of you guys might think that I am totally bluffing. For here I'm gonna tell you a story bout the phones I had till the current one. I got my first phone in 2001. It was a green ericsson phone which has only a supper small yellow screen and HUGE letters which eventually ate the whole tiny screen space. It was seriously ugly.

my first ever phone( it was green by the way....)

After that phone my parents were covinced enough to buy me a 3310. That phone was waaaaaaayyyyyy better. Although you guys think it sucks but in 2003 it was kinda good enough.

A a year later, I changed to the nokia 2100. It was around 400++ when I bought it. But looking back I should have saved it and bough a phone with much more features. I was foolish then and childish. Sad rite... Anyways lucky me my dad bought a new phone so he gave me the nokia 8890. The fully titanium phone which is so yeng and it still is. That time whoever had that phone was like woooah...(words couldnt describe the meaning that I ment)

super sleek in 2000's only...

Times changed and there comes the colour. Thats where another nokia came which was the nokia3100. It was considered a luxury to have colour in your phone. But sadly that was the last phone I ever had for another 10 years. It didnt last long too. Due to my stupidness, the phone went "swimming" in the washing machine. It was still ok but eveything starts to fall apart.Went looking some stuff in the store room, and found my mum's old old phone. The so called the butterflies cousin the 8210 nokia. Used it till it rot and it was time to throw it away. Sad sad times.... haigh... My scavinging skills paid off as I found a phone in school. It belongs to some junior kid but finders keepers rite?? hehehe dunno what phone it is but its seriously not my choice. Without a phone I live with what I have. Later my mum lended me her phone the first sony ericsson I got. K750i. It was great and I had it for quite some time but it ended up giving back to her as her "new" samsung went cacat. Phoneless again and one fine day in TGIF, my sis was soooo lucky she found a 6680 nokia phone. I made a deal with her and for just only a 100 bucks I bought it. I had used it till now. And I guess you guys might think "why does her parents just buy her a phone where she is phone-less?" . If so you dont know them AT ALL. They are mean to me because they wanted me to be independent eventhough I was still young to understand the value of money. They wouldnt give a cent to me for a new phone. So I took matters to my own hands. I had worked after SPM and saved some money from my 150 per month allowance.( inclusive of phone credit). I had bought...... the sony ericsson C905. Finally a new phone bought from a shop not lying in some store or on top of a sink in TGIF. My own phone. I was really proud of myself as I took my own luxuries into my own bare hands. Now you guys might even get a personal pic or 2 because of it. And I was a really deal I had. You guys wont even guess how much I bought this phone and in this condition.

...happy in 10 years time

where is eveyone now?

Seriously where is everyone? I really hate it when people are not in the same place at the same time doing the same thing. But now it seems that someone's here and somebody else is there and others are all left back in school . Is it me or everyone is feeling like this? The only way to talk to them is either through Facebook or msn if they're only ONLINE. Haigh.... Kinda bored but tired right now. Dont know why. I wanna sleep but I just cant although I am too tired. Anyways felt like dying.

... so near yet so far

Jobs jobs and more jobs till May...

I had already finished my first job doing office stuff and boring data entry. So yay!!! That job felt like forever. Now currently I am officially a merchandiser of a legit company. I got employed and started work today. It's not that bad but way better than typing data and invoices. Later perhaps I'll be working in STARBUCKS!!! WOOOOHOOO!!! Now my first day I went to Subang Parade to check some stock and report to my boss. It was kinda different and fun. I wonder how will I do in STARBUCKS?? Dealing with people with caffeine problems in the morning. Hopefully I'll be ok and earn some $$$$!!. Owh yea, bout the college thing. I had already made a decision to go to TAR (Tunku Abdul Rahman)College starting in May. Not doing Pre-U and all but straight away doing diploma then advance diploma and then to ENGLAND!! Anyways bout the piloting, I'll just wait for a cadetship from either MAS or Air Asia or Singapore Airlines. Hope for the best and I'll be either one of the both above. Dont mind doing both either. Lolzz... And guys.. Good luck in your college stuff and NEVER NEVER NEVER rush.... seriously!!

Missing you guys so much.

... working for studying

feeling more apart already...

College started for most people but not me. I'm currently at home settling down and chillin awhile. Just message-ed Jo but she didnt reply back. (probably she's busy though). Right after that I started to think. Is the connection we had for so many years together friends and all will last? What am I to do without them? I began to question. While clearing up my messy room, I found letters from Li and Rach. I read them. I was smiling while reading them and still kept it with pictures of us in Form 1. Although something happened, Ii still dearly miss them. I wonder how are they now. Probably they have other friends and maybe had already forgotten bout me. At the first in my life I feel lonely. Lifeless. Goalless. I been alone but never lonely. I guess we better appreciate things now than wanting it later. I finally came to a conclusion in my complicated life. I have let go of you. Now, treating you differently and shifted you to another part of my heart. But one thing still stays the same. I will NEVER disappoint you ever again. I promise... that what I promise you I'll do it and never to see you looking disappointed upon me again. Once is already enough. I will take you to the skies. I promise. I will fly. The feeling is gone now. Its better this way. Smies always.

....a loner is lonely

a very HAPPY new year...

Well Its 2010... I guess I'm soon gonna turn 18 now and be a year older. Yesterday was so much fun. I have reconnect-ed with people I didnt see for a long time. Although I didnt have a chance to countdown with them but for me its just enough because I get to spend time with them which I dint do for a long time now. I have to say that I really miss them and they will always be remembered. Beginning of that day I was working and I spoiled the photostat machine for photocopying too much. Just imagine 2000++ copies. After was tired but went on to partying. Hey... had a very good time there. I hope that we do so next year. And all of you guys I wanna let you guys know that I MISS YOU!!!. Hahahaha good luck with your goals and your degrees!!!!. Lastly the FIREWORKS!!!! It was kinda disappointing this new year becoz there weren't as much as 2007/2008 's firework. But anyways the view up from Bandar Puteri Puchong 12 ROX!!!!

...first post of the beginning