Highway...

Around 7 pm, my dad got a call. My mum's tire punctured on a highway. We quickly rushed there and pulled over to help my mum. I went out. While my dad was helping my mum, I stood beside the highway looking at the passing cars which seems faster when you're not on it. Weird but it was also kinda scary to see how fast the lorries go by. Standing there comes a thought and I laughed. Our life is just like a highway, when were on it we don't notice how fast we're actually living life and how things happen. When you're out of it, you are terrified how fast life goes by. So what I am trying to say is... Appreciate every moment before it passes by.

...standing beside my highway

No more emo-ish post... No more...

I'm sorry bout all of the emo post which I have posted. This is beacuse I was going thru a hard time understanding life but now I already know the answers. Since there is not much time till SPM, I would like to concentrate on it without thinking about emoic stuff. Thanks for waking me up about this guys. Oh yea... If I had stop updating my post is because I am too busy to update or I have nothing to talk about. I hope I'll be blogging soon.

Ps: Don't miss me... hahahahah lolz..(perasaan)

... away for awhile

School closed because of H1N1...

As the title says, school has been closed due to H1N1. Its kinda sad cause the amount of schooling for me is cut lesser...Arghhhhh. It all started at around 12.45pm. I saw Ms. Serena running from junior block to the senior. My whole class was looking out the window. One thing had come to our minds which is SCHOOL HAS BEEN CLOSED. Wow... the way she ran dem bergaya wei.. The thing happened so fast and in like 10 minutes later the whole school went kelam kabut. All the teachers were calling the parents and the students we're like "Whats going on?". People running around with masks and some of them coughing. The person who lost lots of money due to this is not the school but our dear teachers. Due to our safety, they allowed us to use their personal phones because they were faster. Money to them is less important to our safety. In like another 5 minutes, Pn Haria called me to fetch his son Aiman at the junior block. And so I went. All the way there up the stairs and round the block. No Aiman. I started asking as my uniform starts to get wet. They were in a non lit room cause it is nap time. After I got Aiman to the Senior block, Pn Siti asked me to get her son. And again the same process of going there and coming back. After all being a good person is not easy but I was willing to help. After that I went looking for my sister. We grouped and waited for our mom. Went back and slept. Now I am feeling much better after a cough and sore throat that happened to me yesterday. To everyone, Please stay away from sick people and don't got o crowded places due to safety of others. Take care of yourselves and for others get well soon.

...chaotic day

Brilliant Jo (again)...

Hahahahah today was soooo dumb. I assume that all of you guys know where babies come out from rite? Well, a friend of mine didnt know that. Instead she said it came out from the anus(asshole). Seriously. The anus?? Omg... This happened during EST. Here we were talking about something till we reached to the coming out of the baby part. Andrew said "Where babies come out form? Where tell me?" and Jo said the anus. HAHAHAAHAHAHHAH. OMG we laughed at her and as usual clueless jo. We laughed for like 5 minutes and we chilled. I said that your mom shit you out is it. And we continued the laughter. When the bell rang and on our way down for essembely, Andrew and Rai joked about it summore.

They said:

Rai: Hahaha your mum shit you out...

Jo: I was born in SJMC.

Andrew: In your birth certificate your place of birth is SJMC(toilet)...

Haiyo... Jo..Jo Omg and it's worse you got and A for bio...

...funny facts

Last ever prefect dinner...

The dinner was held in Sime Darby Convention Centre. Almost everyone was there. The food looked nice but unfortunately it wasnt good. I dont think Rm35 is worth eating there although it is a buffet. After a couple of plates and a few cups of coffee and tea, we were talking crap and Kailash was sooo funny hahahaha lolz... I was enjoying everything laughing with my freinds and taking crazy pictures. After all that, I realize it was my last ever prefect dinner. My mood went so down and emo-ed awhile. All those crazy thing we did like riding up and down the escalator alot of times and kinda joked around alot. I'm so gonna miss all the time when we're crazy and all. When everyone went back by bus, I stared at the sky hoping to see a few stars but It wasnt a good day. No stars haigh.... Sad...

...emotional after dinner

SSC Mini Carnival.... + status...

Tired and wet day. It was fun and I spent alot of money supporting the fund which is raised for charity. There are food stalls and game stalls and haunted houses as usual. The water maze was fun and I got sooooooo wet till my inner-clothes got wet. I had to borrow teng's shirt cause mine was kinda see thru. Jo was with me the whole day and thank got I wasn't alone. I'm not gonna say much now cause I'm Super tired but it was SUPER FUN!!!

(to anyone who think that I'm still pissed.. I'm not now. I just had a kick in my head and made me explode that day. I am sorry but I'm still recovering)

...calmed by the water

Pissed off for being the odd one

Today... Haigh... I was pissed of and raised my voice because I was left out. This wasnt the first time and I DONT FUCKING NEED a second chance to be accepted and I DONT WANT TO BE THE BLODDY FUCKER WHO IS ALWAYS SESAT AND NO ONE FUCKING CARES. I really dont need all that. If you guys say that I've left you guys, go ahead say it. The truth is I WAS FUCKING LEFT OUT AND WENT TO OTHERS. Some say otherwise because they DONT FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL AND SAID I BETRAYED THEM. That's ok if you guys don't notice but DONT GO RUNNING YOUR BIG ASS MOUTH saying something that is not the truth. I just wanna clear this up if you guys cant see it clearly. I don't mean to hurt anyone and I dont wanna cause silence. If you guys wanna just be fucked up about this blog I've written, I'm sorry but this is how I felt just in case you guys don't know what is the title of my blog and keep saying fucking stories behind my fucking back and getting the wrong image. Especially for the over reacted ... If you wanna get your hands into this problem I suggest that just to mind your own business and I know that you have allot to do. And for all of those wanna solve problems people... I just wanna say please GET THE FUCKING FACTS RIGHT BEFORE SAYING ANY FUCKING THING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. I just hate posers who say themselves fixed everything but I really hate to admit that the more you campur tangan the more fucked up it gets. FUCK YOU very much for reading... I hope you understand how I feel.

PS: Mind my language because I was keeping everything inside for the whole day

...wrong words,wrong image and wrong thinking

untitled...

Why did I let go?

Disappointment after disappointment

I just keep hurting people that I'm with

Feeling sad just don't know what to do

What have I 've done?

I've push you further and further

Now I cant bring you back

All I can do is just Cry

I've called but I hung up

Guilt has masked my voice

But wish that you know that

I think about you everyday

I use to look into your eyes

And see a gleam in it

The purest thing I've seen

Now it all gone

Held your hand

The feeling is still here

That something that I hold on to when I'm sad

Slowly slipping away within the shadows

The uncertaincy of you caring about me

I am scared to ask or maybe Its all in my head

Its been long I last see you

But now I don't see you again

Giving everything to turn back time

To the part when I'm with you

Seeing you everyday I enough

I just hope you feel it too

... everything i say now is useless just wishing that you could've read it

Factors & Circumstances...

Recently, there is this education career fair/talk held in Seri Suria. Besides that,there is this chair making designing competition which interest me. I really want to be a furniture designer, Japanese chef, baker, forensics agent, but due to the circumstances I have to become a pilot. Those circumstances relate to MONEY. Am I gonna get a job when I graduate? Do I get a good pay? Is there future in this field I've chosen? Its not that becoming a pilot doesn't interest me but It doesn't attract me like the others. The only thing I've choose to become a pilot is because I like to travel and see the world while I'm doing my job. Its just that I would like to learn so many things but I don't have time and there are so many factors which I have to consider. I feel that everyone who has interest in something but cant fulfill it (like me..) feel the same way too. Its just the matter of time that you realize it and feel down for that matter. I just wanna say that whatever that you choose to be in the future make sure that you'll always be happy in what you plan to do.

...ups and downs

our silent movie...

Its funny as it seems that its been along time since this had happen. I am still here but didn't think of you for along time until today. I see you everywhere but its only a shadow of the past. Its already gone and too late. I didn't regret about the decision I made so I tried to live on. After sometime I realize there is no one but you. I felt that I am still trapped in time when I think of you. Seeing everything we've done and every feeling we've felt has weaken me and nearly made me teared and the will of trying to be sane. While I am only spending the last moments of where we were happy together, I only wanted to say this. Whenever I come back to this very place, it will slowly play again like a silent movie which only exist in my mind. Now, I am replaying everything before I leave the place that I"ll never forgot. To tell you the truth I can never leave this place and it will always be with me along with our silent movie. I'll take this moment to just take it all in before everything changed. Remembered and keeping it forever.

...not letting go

not myself lately...

This week I am not myself. Wanna know why? Maybe its stress and pressure but I think I can handle it well. The real problem is everything I see now reminds of things that happens in this school. I am actually behaving like this because I am soo sad that I'm gonna leave school. I am truly afraid and I just wanna take it all in before I leave. Anything that happens here, everything every sad and happy moment I just wanna remember before it all fades away.The worse is I'm sick and felt really high after eating pills(prescribed legal pills). I always feel sleepy and I got pissed for tying to say awake. Thus more frustration and started being a sadist and emo-ist. I truly apologized for acting so weirdly. I am sorry of hurting anyone who felt hurt during this period of mine.

(written this blog after a loooooong sleep)

...random changes

people and thier problems... when can it end?

People nowadays have countless misunderstandings and whole lot of bad timing which happens from time to time. Although it is normal, I find it irritating when it keeps happening. People are going around spreading unhappiness and blaming each other because everyone wants to be right. That is the most biggest flaw in humans which is they never wanna be the LOSER or the one losing. Everyone wants to be a winner whatever it takes even breaking of families and friendships. This leads to a bigger problem. TAKING SIDES. Taking sides actually makes the problem worse and involves more people in something that is actually none of their business. These people should have just stay away , listen and give advice. They are not allowed to speak up or interfere in the issue which is not theirs. I wonder why does matter to even stand up for that person when giving advice is already enough. That person who is having problems have the brains to make decisions and solve the problem. Interfering just makes both sides look worse thus problems cant be solved. Facing reality in life is never easy and sweet. I know life is hard and sometimes things don't actually go the way that you expected it would be. So guys, no matter from which side you guys think I am in, I am actually open to both of you and will makes decisions which makes the world a better place than both of you just bitching and fighting with one another. So now I clearly state that I AM NEUTRAL. Both of you are my good friends and it really breaks my heart when you guys are like this. Things have already change and had already happen. I hope you guys clearly see what I mean.

Fighting will never solve anything,

Just the waste of energy and time,

Talking and solving is worth trying,

I'm awhile you guys will be fine,

...peace maker

Reunite 1...

Today, school was normal. Till a crazy loud happy Rach and a quite power packed Li appeared from the blue when I was on my way to the canteen. Rach run towards me and Jo and hugged us. She was running soo fast and she knocked my chin while rushing to Jo. Later I went to Li and also higged her. I keep wondering why did they come in a suddent without telling us when. Maybe its their habitt I guess.. Hehe. I was happy and we talked and eat Li's gummy worms. Whenever Li comes back from Australia, she brings these gummy sweets which is sugar-free but it tasted more like sugar-for-free. It is sooooooooooo sweet till makes tongue numb. Li brought 4 packs of sweets and it finished like 10 minutes. Everyone digged in and Rach was loaded with a plastic bag FULL OF KIT-KAT. She went high as usual. We walked around the school and we wast down later. I had Matt's camera and was taking pictures of Jo with all of her "muka 10 sen"(funny cute faces). Now I know how fun is it to be holding a good camera and snapping photos of people doing embaressing stuff and faces. I finally understand you now Matthew. During ECA, we played and Rach fell down and apart of her skin was scrapped off. It was bleeding. So as usual we gotta wash the wound. That woman is so scared of pain and starts screaming when the water is like a feet away. My shoes got wet beause of her trying to avoid the water but I suceeded. All and all, it was a fun day with them laughing like the old times.

...happie times

what makes life complicated...

Life. At first was simple till mankind arrived. The question is what did mankind do to make life more complicated? Firstly I gotta say is love. Love is the most complicated thing in life and there are endless possibilities and ways of appearing itself. It is so highly demanded and people are crazy enough to give their own life and sacrifice everything for it. Love on the bad side.. causes almost a million people in the world die from committing suicide when they break up. This is shows that love could do whatever it wants you to do. Its just like you're not yourself and somehow hypnotized. (lol...) Secondly its MONEY!!!! money money and more money. Yea.. money indeed makes the world go round and have the equivalent of Power but sadly the fact is it makes you run out of hope and happiness. Will you have true people around you? Will you have the feeling of security? Or will you have hope in life after you've done everything and got everything? To me I don't think so. Money is so strong that it will break families and cause chaos. Third is Sex. From my point of view, I think sex is a drug and many needs it to just keep on living. Trying to impress other people of the opposite sex and loves to feel beautiful are just the human behaviours. It is tempting and the lust within someone will draw themselves to satisfy other people. ( I cant comment much about this because I'm not that stage yet....)

... corruption of generations

making someone feel better...

The feeling of making someone better after a cloudy day is unexplainable. I was there for a couple of friends who had just went thru a bad day. I like to help people feel better even though is not easy to make someone sad to happy in a flash. I wish there are more things that I can do to help people during their rough time. Seeing a smile after a emo face is one of the best things I've seen in life so far. The smile soothes your soul and enlightens the environment. Maybe some people doesnt have a easy way to express their feelings and fear of being commented (like me...) , refused to be helped and being miserable for how long they wish. These people are actually best to left alone and need more time to chill .People like me( i admit...) are kinda stubborn and gets outta control easily.So if I'm not in a good mood or emo at time please STAY AWAY!!!. I might hurt you and may cause a fight. Anyways, whenever there is sad face around you, try to make them feel better unless they dont wanna talk just leave them alone to chill for a certain time.

Note: When I'm in a "not happy me" just please do yourself a favour and stay away.

...prevention is better than cure

The Greatest Vocalist Ever...

Francis Albert "Frank" Sinatra ( December 12, 1915 - May 14, 1998)

In my perspective, the one and the most respected legendary singer is Frank Sinatra. He is a 50's vocalist and his songs are still remembered by others. I was actually moved by his songs. Although his songs are old and slow, you can never get a better soothing sound of jazz and vocals mixture. He is under appreciated by people of this generation as he is the king of jazz to me. His songs will always remain in my heart and his melodies will forever be apart of my world. Once again to the great Frank Sinatra. May you rest in Peace.

...."The Best is yet to come"- Frank Sinatra

I am actually suppose to be in prison now...

I have actually got this quiz from teng's blog and I think its kinda cool to see what my results are. I think I am supposed to be in jail for being such a bad person. Dont you guys think so.....LOLzzz....

I have. . . (a point for each one)

1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn.
9. bought porn.
10. tried drugs.

#MY TOTAL: 7

1. taken painkillers.
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. felt hurt.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.

#MY TOTAL:8

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. received a ticket.
6. been to rehab
7. dyed your hair.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar
#MY TOTAL: 7

1. been to a wild party.
2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.
3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything
6. wore black nail polish
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.

#MY TOTAL: 8

1. dressed gothic
2. dressed girly.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor.

#MY TOTAL: 5

1. had a crush on a friend.
2. been to a concert.
3. dry-humped someone.
4. been called a slut.
5. called someone a slut.
6. installed speakers in your car.
7. broken a mirror.
8. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
9. brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.

#MY TOTAL: 4

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.

#MY TOTAL: 8

1. owned/rented an apartment/house.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10.been verbally harassed.

#MY TOTAL: 5

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.

#MY TOTAL: 8

Total: 60

If You Have Less Than 10.. write [im a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10.. write [im still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20..write [im average]
If You Have More Than 30..write [im a bad kid]
If You have more than 40..write [im a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50..write [im a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60..write [i should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70..Write [i should be dead]

...deep shit

finally..Transformers....

Yesterday was a super crazy day cause me and my family was crazy and wanted to watch Transformers. First we went to Cineleisure Damansara to but the tickets. So we qued up. The line there was soooooooooooooooooo long and we waited there for bout an hour. When we reached the ticket booth, I felt a sign of relive but all the seats were soo up front until you have to bend your head backwords to see the movie. Out of disappointment we left without a ticket.LoL.... So we drove to Sunway Pyramid and went straight to the cinema. And again the line this time more people... I had to que up all over again. Luckily I had my ipod so it wasn't that bad and there were a few movie trailers playing there as well. I waited and waited. And again reached the counter, all the seats were upfront like the ones in Cineleisure BUT there was a 11.20pm show. We decided to but the tickets. We went to dinner OUTSIDE of sunway pyramid cause my dad was picky on food. We had dinner in a food court and I accidentally hit a guy which was carrying food with my hand cause I didn't see him coming. Nothing got stained and no one died. We went back to pyramid when it was 10+ pm. All of the shops were closed and to kill time we watched a bowling competition. There was this guy who throwed the bowling ball so hard and nearly slipped. He was a super big sized guy and does this funny action after he threw the ball. I was actually controlling myself from laughing. That dude was fun to watch trust me.... LOLz... We went into the theater and sat down. Not long later the movie started. The movie was nice and kinda funny. Megan Fox was too hot to be a guy actually and Shia was sexi-er. Hahahah. The animations were a lil too much and everything made alot of people confused. But the bottom line is...the movie was worth watching and worth all that madness of many Malaysians.

...crazy satisfied

i miss you

Here is where you're supposed to be,

But you left and I kept waiting,

The tears I've creid had drowned me,

I just dont know I escape from dying

Pulled ashore by somebody,

Rescued me from the pain you gave,

I cant be with you maby I'm not worthy,

Lied to myself for being brave

Being brave all along and found someone to love,

It wasnt enough for me,

With someone who I dont love as much is a curse,

I'm misserable cant you see

Acting that I was happy wasnt the way,

I knew that somehow I'll forget you,

More and more I tried to go away,

Everything reminded me of you

Along with the person I love,

Which slowly turns to like,

The amount of love from you is till above,

The fact is what I cant fight,

I will forever miss you,

What can I do you're far away,

When I'm with that person I think of you,

But there is no chance to see you again,

...stuck

a fact that you cant except....a reality which you made...

Did you really move on when you said so? Did you ever meant those words that you've promised yourself? The truth is you are still not over that someone and still loves that someone dearly even though your heart has been broken before. I have felt this way and I definitely know how you feel. Although the truth is not your fairytale, it still will remain as the truth. Getting over someone is a really painstakingly process of self gaining after a horrible fall of a break up. The mask that you put on is too hollow to hide away your feelings. Hearts have been too hurt for the mask to cover. I am dearly disappointed because you are still lying. Not to us but to yourself. The scenes that you see everyday pushes you nearer to the breaking point. I really wanna see you standing tall after this horrific crash. I will always be there to give you strength to start over although you're still lying to yourself.

...lying to yourself

crazy for dead serious...

In Malaysia when you reach the age of 18 you are randomly selected to join the national service. I knew some of my friends who were chosen but didn't wanna go. I wasn't chosen but I wanted to go. Crazy rite?? Hahaha I know... The reason why I wanted to go is because I don't wanna waste anytime. I didn't get chosen for this group what about the other 2? If I get chosen for the other group I will lose 3 months of time which that will seriously cost me when I get my pilot licence. There is a expiry of the licence and I don't ever wanna waste 3 months of not flying and that time could land me a job. I decided to go for the first group of the 7th series of this training because I have nothing to do after SPM except to rot and gain weight. By the way, It is also a fun experience and its like a super long camp which is 3 months. I also can take time out of the house and away from my family. I believe this will make me stronger and more independent for the future.

...different planning