patience is a virtue...

Saying that I wannna start on January well.... I guess not . It's because I cant make it and I really need some time to think about which one I'm gonna choose. I am rather confused and I really dont wanna waste money if I wanna start in January. The fact is the pilot thing is after my results and if I ever get the cadetship I have to leave my pre-U and wasting a whole lot of money. Well no harm waiting right and piloting is the first pirority now other than going into a college doing my pre-U. So if you guys starting in January well good luck. I'll be going later. Other than that I pierced my lip... lolz... hahah yea... and its not that bad at first its annoying but now is rather ok. My parents know bout it but now it about to heal I'll wear it off and on. Anyways, the prom is SUPER awsome!!! and the clubbing and the not so nice food but everyone was happy to be there. I went back early becoz I have to work the next day. All and all everything's fine and sorry for not updating for ahwhile now. Work is a hard thing to do and money is a hard thing to earn. So people please appreciate money and spend it wisely if not you seriously regret it. Love you guys class of 09'. Always have a place in my heart.

....a break of silence

Fear of Accounts...

You guy know that after SPM we all go into a college. There we'll start with a foundation or pre-U. I decided to take a foundation on business or the Canadian Program to start from. Unfortunately, in that pre-U subject the subject which I have to take must include accounts. I panicked and start freaking out coz I totally suck in Accounts and start making excuses not taking business. I totally freaked out. I was so paranoid till I pissed my mum off for a whole week because of this. Now I'm still "bo song" her. None of them understand how I feel and I feel very pressure at this moment. I wanna become a pilot but does this mean that my life would take a turn away from what I wanna do and be happy doing? I guess so but I dont belive so because I am not a person who gives up so easily. Freaked out at first but who knows. Maybe Accounts will be ok for me.... gua.

...figures and bullshit

chasing a dream

Is it worth chasing a dream without knowing whatever is the aftermath? I really gotta say that chasing a dream is tiring and sometimes disappointing. I am in a chase now and it gets real after my spm results are out. I wanted so much but am I deserving enough to be given to? I have to say for the first time in my life I seem fragile and clueless, with a lil scared but somehow excited and everything. I never felt this way before. I dont really like it. Seconds felt like its ticking continuously slowing everything into a stop. I just wanna know whats for me to make me safe at least to cure my sense of curiosity and calm my over-reactive thinking. Some just give up on the chase and just lead a simple normal life which they stick to it till the day they die. Do I wanna live a simple boring life? NO! I wanna live life to the fullest and do crazy things along the way. I have so much things I wanna do and expectations so high to achieve. I'm just afraid I couldn't do so. I dont wanna live in regret and doing something I'm not happy with. No matter what comes in my way I'll still hold on to it for my dear life. I made a promise I will make things better as I have only 1 chance to live and love life itself.

... chasing a dream,livin a life

True happiness

There are sometime and some reason to let someone go or do something that you dont really like just to make someone happy even it removes you from the picture or just to see that one smile of theirs. The point is , is it really happiness when i do so or happiness just to see someone happier? Which would you choose? I keep telling myself that could I bear to do so? I am currently happy now but I find it weird because whenever I achieve something or bought something I wanted for a really long time I would feel really happy but now nothing seems to satisfy my happiness when my heart is aching everyday and every second just thinking about stuff. Yea I know you're happy now although I'm not there but is that the real meaning of happiness of seeing someone happy to make you happy. I havent been happy for almost 3 years now. I'm not depressed but happiness I am receiving now is just not enough to life the pain away. I guess I wouldnt get this load off my beating heart for a long time in the future because nothing I know would even lift it up even for a second for a breath of air. I need someone to take it all away and keep me off thinking about stuff which only exist in a story.

...stay happy even when I'm gone

Merdeka?!! My foot....

After Spm they say " Waaaaa now merdeka la finish Spm already can relax ma..." and others "Soo good no need to go school already summore can rest for 3 months". Well if you see it on the surface its so but the real truth is its not merdeka and there are 1001 things for me to do after that. Not only no more school, I have traded it for driving lessons, college, job and allowance cuts. I have to find a job right after my college starts and guess what I haven even register yet. Though I am certain there is a place for me in Taylor Business College in SS15 but I wanna get it done as soon as possible especially I wanna go for the January intake of next year. I know its kinda late but seriously my parent are both busy and no one is taking me there to do the registration and all. Now currently I am scouting for a driving school here in Melacca (and yes I'm in Melacca now by the way). To my conclusion here the rates are cheaper especially the L licence and the P. The rate for the undang is the same so no point doing here. But for the L and P I may do it here as it is cheaper and faster. Other than colleges and driving schools, I have to help my aunty shift her house from KL to Puchong. She has bought a house in Bandar Puteri Puchong. The location is awesome! Her house is on top of a very high hill and the view at night there is amazing. I actually really like that place and I have to make way on my busy schedule for helping her. Next I got a week job from my mom's friends in her office. Data entry. Dem boring and I basically sit there and sort stuff, enter numbers into the computer and photostat alot of papers. Its boring but I have doing that job for 4 years now. Every holiday I go there and work and make some pocket money. To let you guys into a secret I really hate working in an office especially that office. Shhhhh dont tell anyone please... Now I'm taking time off in my hometown after a month of studying and exams. Oh yea.... I may be going out on the 22 or 23 to midvalley and just chillax for a moment before all the busy-ness flood in.

...busy is what people do these days

Catch-up : Spm Day 1

The catch-up series which I created is to update you guys bout the SPM paper of 09' so that you wont be left out as you guys who are the readers of this blog will always know about moments in my life. Moving on, day before the first day of SPM I had a couple of sms-es from very supportive people wishing me good luck and just chill through the whole thing. Thanks alot and you really make my day (you know who you are) and it really helps and I look at it almost everytime before the paper starts just to gain strength from it. I really appreciate it. The exam started of with Bm 1 and 2. The papers were ok but I was nervous bout the komsas part and suprisingly I know how to do it. Not saying its easy but its do-able. Next was sejarah paper 1. Thank god its paper 1 if not my hand would be so busted up of writing and to make matters worse its only the beginning. The sejarah paper was also acceptably normal. I was actually freaking out but as usual levia yam puts a calm expression with a freaking out inner self.

.... day one of the beginning

i'm back

Woah after a month out from blogging i nearly forgot this blog of mine exist. Anyways, geography paper just finished and I have like a ton of updates which I wanna let you guys know and I am really excited bout life outside school. So many things to do so little time. How on earth could I do stuff in so little time? I wish that I could like split into a couple of levia's just to finish stuff and satisfy everyone needs. Life is kinda slow and the SPM updates will be posted soon. Just to let you guys know that this blog is active again after a gruelling month stop.

....back and movin'

Wont be active in ahwhile.... SPM's finally here... Updates from the last post will be posted whenever this blog is active after 18 Nov 09.

...1 month mayhem

football+ graduation rehersal = super tired ( both legs hurt)

Today we had a football match with Sri Aman which is organized by Encik Alias for us. So as usual we were late because of the bus and we had to run up to the foyer where everyone was waiting for us. On the way there we sang songs and finally almost all of us were high especially Joanne. She started too sing the Tarzan and Jane techno song which made everyone laughed .When the song Kenangan TerIndah by Samsons was playing , her eyes starts to turn red and tears just went rolling down. And we all were like OMG Joanne and sobs continued. The funny thing was that matthew was recording her all actions with his camera phone. Everyone knew but her. When we reached there we kinda lepak-ed awhile there till En Alias saw us and asked us to rush to the field. Out of our expectations,they were wearing boots and us??? Just sport shoes and I wore my basketball shoe. We played for 3 quarters which lasted 20 min each and had rest for 10 minutes after each quarter. Nadja and Hanis scored goals but weren't enough to win the game they scored 5 goals which out of 3 was penalties. Shafie accidentally tripped and landed on the ball with her hands. Hahahahah. And Joanne caught the ball by sitting on it and one where she dived on mud. Pro wei... So I had a few good kicks which results to my right leg hurting like crap and kinda twitches once awhile and my foot had a blister on it. So when the game almost finished my left leg which was hurt during the inter house basketball match ( the left one) got kicked by a girl. The sad thing was she was wearing boots. The stud was directed to my left ankle and it hurts. Now bengkak already. When the game finished we saw Cheynne. On the way back, Joanne sang the Tarzan and Jane Techno song again.....Haigh..... So right after we reached school the graduation rehearsal starts. We were all rolling with it and everyone left after that. So it was only me and Nadja. We practiced the "surprise" song but I sucked like shit wei... OMG I was so tired till my vocals and pitches went out. Dem embarrassing. So I'm working hard and practising now. The trick to it is practice just enough so that your voice doesn't crack up tomorrow. Anyways, we were super tired but we actually had fun playing football. I just came back from buying my clothes for tomorrow and feel really sleepy now.

... cacat-ed in both ways

Thursday, Novermber 15th 2009

Today was a kinda busy day for me and I actually did alot of stuff which I don't usually do. Came to school there he was our new chemistry teacher, Mr Lau which is here to fill in for Ms. Catherine cause she is on maternity leave. He's a lil weird but as usual our class kept quiet cause he is new. Wait la few more class he'll wish we stay quite....hahahahah. Ok after that me and nadja went out to do a lil something which is a suprise so called on Graduation day. So after screaming our lungs out of signing, I went downstairs to watch the jr playing basketball. The girls lost 0-69. Ok that was bad but at least no one died or injured but definitely disappointing. When everything's over I went up to the prefect room just hanging out there doing the prom thing a lil bit. I looked at my watch and went to look for Ivy to set up the choir party stuff. I ran the whole school looking for her but no Ivy. She went out so I waited for her in the canteen. As soon as she arrived, we helped to set up the stuff for the party which includes SAKE SUSHI!!!! AND FAMOUS AMOS!!!!! yea!!!!! best club party ever. With my stuffed stomach I went looking for Joanne. I found her and we did summore prom stuff till the bell rings.

....a day of levia yam

College crisis....

After SPM I'm sure that everyone is gonna go to a college. But I wanna be a pilot so... now my plan is... 1) Do a foundation on Business 2) Find work. 3) Half way look out for pilot cadetship and do send as many applications I can and hope I get chosen. 4a) If I do then I'll leave business studies and jump right to piloting. 4b) If not then I complete the course till MBA and enroll in the medical line of business OR be an air stewardess for ahwile so that I can have a better opportunity of being selected because I have flight experience. But I still will not give up on flying because that is what really what I wanna do. Since piloting is very expensive I guess this is my only road. That's about it.... But the real problem is choosing a place to start as in what college to go to. This is like picking a new place for myself and making sure that the right choice makes me a better masters holder in business. Anyways, for now this is my plan and I hope that I be a pilot better than a businesswoman.

or

or

Only GOD could make this decision....PLEASE I WANNA BE A PILOT!!!!! Work your magic dude.... Thats all I'm asking for.

...Career-tied

A lil something I'll like to share....

Ok seriously who needs help with moral??? I think everyone is so confused and frustrated about the format to write and stuff but I got something which I hope will help you guys and make things much easier......

How to do Moral Esei!!!!!

Huraikan should be done like this:

Ali mengamalkan nilai bertanggungjawab .

Dia sanggup memikul tugasnya sebagai seorang pengawas (let say) dengan sempurna . Contohnya, dia menahan pelajar yang melakukan kesalahan.

Ali juga melaksanakan kewajipannya sebagai pengawas dengan sempurna . Contohnya, dia .... ….

Use the formula:

Watak+Nama nilai (format: Nilai ______; must include the word "nilai")+kata kunci1+contoh1+kata kunci 2+ contoh 2. One paragraph already.

How to do Moral Questions!!!!

See the amount of marks 2 marks / 3 marks

2 marks (Nyatakan/Beri maksud/Definisi)

1^st sentence

Nicole(Watak) mengamalkan nilai kasih sayang ( nilai).

2^nd sentence

Dia ( KGND) ada perasaan cinta yang mendalam serta berkekalan yang lahir dari hati yang ikhlas(kata kunci) dengan menyelamatkan kucing itu (contoh).

1+2 = Answer!!!!

3 marks (Huraikan/ Terangkan/ Jelaskan).

1^st sentence

Rakyat Malaysia ( Watak) mempamerkan nilai cinta akan negara.(Nilai)

2^nd sentence

Kami ( KGND) berperasaan sayang dan bangga kepada negara dan meletakkan kepentingan negara melebihi kepentingan diri(kata kunci) dengan berusaha menaikkan nama negara.(contoh)

3^rd sentence

Contohnya,( How?) menyertai dan memenangi pertandingan peringkat antarabangsa.

1+2+3 = ANSWER!!!!

Ok this is what I use to learn to do Moral Spm paper and I'm sure this is the right method as I had done countless visits to forums and searches.

Hope this could help

....stupid subject

The 1000th

Yay this blog has reached 1000 views!!!!!

updates people and on coming events....

OK as all of you guys know SPM is really really near and now I'm having my second SPM trail. It's about half way here still got maths, biology,physics,EST and moral. Taking a break now. Anyways graduation is coming up right after trails on November 6th, Friday and also a match with Sri Aman in the game of football on the 5th of November which is on Thursday. Not sure yet who's playing but I'm so in. The school seems emptier than usual because most of the form 3's are MIA. Yes and Prom is on the 26 or 27 of December I think according to my friend. Plans after SPM are loading as I come near to it and I may be missing for awhile doing so. Felt more relax in this exam compared to the first trail. And I hope that SPM will be easier and pray hard that there are more not so bright people in my year so that the graph will drop and make me look smarter...lolz.

...keeping up with life

sick again...

Yesterday...haigh after a nice trip to my hometown and ate a whole lot I got some mild food poisoning followed by a high fever. To make things worse I have SPM trail 2 tomorrow. Sei Lor... Yesterday I woke up cause I felt very nauseous and rushed to the toilet throwing up some green bitter stuff also known as bile. Right after that I felt there was a acid like taste up in my throat and in my mouth. The feeling was horrible. Drank about 1/2 cup of milo and then 5 minutes later threw up again. My body was so weak and dehydrated. Felt like dying. My stomach was crying out of hunger so I drank another half and went straight to my room and trying to concentrate not to throw up again. And so I felt asleep doing so. About lunch, my mum took me to see the doctor but he is out to lunch. So she drove to a cafe and ate there. For me I have to witness her eating but almost everything I eat gets out after 5 minutes. Sad. So I was feeling so miserable and a cat came along. It sat there miaow-ing so I kinda talked to it. See I was so sick till I spent time talking to a cat. I called it Comel. And later I decided to call it Dr.Comel. Lunch passed and after the doctors I went home. I ate the medicine and went to sleep. That was around 1pm. When I woke up it was 8pm. Lolz... slept for 7 hours. I was so drowsy and lifeless. That was when I knew that I had fever and took a temperature. It was freaking high. After medicine I slept at 9.30pm till 10.30am the next day. Just imagine how many hours I had slept!!!

...sick of being sick

A Perfect place but you're not here....

Yesterday I was in Melacca and I went to this place near the seaside to eat dinner. The place was fully redone as I was shocked when I went there. After dinner, I took a walk along the seaside and to this pier. There was the sunset. The most beautiful one I had ever seen. I stood there taking it all in and the cool sea breeze. I stood there till the sky was pitch black overlooking the ocean. It was the perfect place to get away fro all the problems and crap which we all deal everyday. I stood there thinking about things which are about to come towards me and you. I really want you to be there with me at that time but cant. I stared and think about eveything. As I gaze up above me I saw a whole blanket of stars which were shining brightly that night. I just dont know why things were so unbelievable that day. I looked hard for the most shiny one and closed my eyes and made a wish. Telling it about everything which I want to happen. Not greedy but just 3 wishes. All and all, right after that fireworks went off. Lighting the dark sky. It went on for about 5 minutes. If you could be here with me you would see the world I see.

....just prayed for your deepest wish

Something I'll hold onto forever

Although I've done wrong and things didnt work out but I'm still having feelings which I had and still have now. There are times I just wanna let it go but cant. Finally thinking straight, I am actually so in love with you till there is no end and at the same time it hurts when I see you suffering while I'm not there to take it all away. I felt so useless and I wanna make it up to you but unfortunately cant. The fact is I dont know how to let someone go and give way for others. You make me so messed up till I dont know how to solve this. When times which I cant be there where I should be I always feel so left out and a sence of emptyness which I feel. Just wanna say that hold onto something which means alot to you dont ever let it go. Dont forget it but remember it.

...something which cant be heard

when you miss somebody...

Whenever you miss somebody there are feelings which is indescribable to post here but I'm telling you there are such things. I don't know how to explain it but this is what I describe my feeling now. It feels like I wanna see that person so badly but when I do so I don't know what to say. Wanna tell how I feel but cant say it out. Keep thinking about times when we were and felt like I wanna hold your hand at the same time thinking should I. Wanna look into your eyes like before but will you look back. Cant express anything and afraid that the situation turns cold. And later you walk away. Dont know when will see you again and cant call you or even text you. Dont know are you still thinking of me or already move on. All I can do is watch you from a distance cant be seen or cant be heard of. Silently stand in th dark corner not to be seen by you. Feelings which are sealed forever.

...past now and always till forever

(Weddings.... ) x 3

When your been in a relationship for a long time, its normal that you're getting married sooner or later. So what I'm trying to say is that 3 of my cousins have already married. To make it more interesting, the marriage streak starts around 2 years ago. For 3 years now, my closest cousins get hitched all in a row. Weird but yea. Yesterday my another cousin got married. Everything was nice and this time we went to the church. It was soo touching and I actually had to hold back a few tears when everyone was so happy when she walked down the isle. And the part which they said I do. That melted everyone's hearts. Anyways, the worst thing is I was sick that day kinda had high fever and the whole package. Still sick now. Happy for both of them looked so sweet together.

...fairytale ending

live a fan die a fan...

Bon Jovi. The best ever rock legends ever. They are the reason why I love music so much and Jon Jovi has the greatest voice ever. The story begins when I was 3 years old. That was the 90's where rock and roll was famous for. My parents told me whenever I hear a Bon Jovi song, I will quickly grab my dad's badminton racket and jump on the couch pretending to be like them while singing their song. I was addicted to music since. My act was so hardcore until my parents took me to a concert. Not just any concert but a Bon Jovi concert. I was 5 and I remembered that I sat on my dad's shoulders during the whole concert. I was so into it until I didn't wanna leave the stadium when everything's over. I was a fan ever since.

.."have a nice day"- Bon Jovi

RMAF and Thunderbirds Air show..

As aeroplanes swoosh above my school, from the sound of the engine I knew it wasn't any local plane which is flying. I start to wonder. The next day around 8+am,me,my dad and grandpa went to the air show. Little that we know there are so many people there and everyone gathered at the runway where planes taxi and there is a large hangar around there. Super huge its like bigger than my school. Took some shots and the planes displayed there were so large and makes me wonder how does it fly when its so frikin huge and heavy.

The cockpit of a jet fighter..Wow!!!

Some airplanes displayed there...frikin cool

...and a helicopter

with people by the thousands...

Eventhough I learn physics and learned the Bernoulli's Principle and all but when you're here you would think the same thing too.Crowding like sardines we stood there as we waited for the event to start. We were so pumped up and there were sound of plane engines buzzing in the atmosphere. Still crowding and people all aligned patiently waiting. The weather nearly spoiled the show as it was about to rain. But luckily IT DIDNT!!!!! I was fooling a round with my camera and the ang mo pilots all dem hot wei dem yeng!! And there are women pilots there too. They were friendly and asked us to be patient as the show was about to start. They are actually the famous Thunderbirds from the USA and they fly F-16's for this show which is about to start.

plane inspection...

Taking off...

The stunts which they did was like SUPER cool!!! It is so worth it and made everyone happy. After the show, there is this pasar where they sold merchandise and stuff. Hahahah out of no where there was this guy who yelled " Air mineral satu ringgit Sejuk dan Kurang manis" My grandpa was laughing and that was priceless. We stood for more than 3 hours under the drizzle and later the scorching sun. Now at around 1 something while I am writing this blog, I had several sunburns on my face and its frikin red now. After coming back from the airshow, I slept from 4pm to 9pm. 5 hours and now I am quite sleepy. Tired and all it was a great day and definitely a highlight of my life.

..happy sun-burned girl

If I'm gonna die...

As I was listening to the song by Nickelback - If today was your last day, I start to think what if I'm gonna die and I know it. What will I do? How will I feel? Ok... All I'm gonna say is I will feel sad but not afraid of it. Anyways if its a painful death, I'll be blind drunk before I'll die. Actually the first thing that will go through my head is how to make it easy for everyone.

8.00am - go straight to the health organization where I'll sign a contract where all of my body parts which are donate-able will be taken from my dead body to help others including my blood.

10.00 am - call up my friends and have a great time spending everything I can. Make everyone smile ( I mean crash the damn f**king mall)

1.00pm- eat a sushi buffet with my friends. (and also trash the whole restaurant)

2.30pm- Go to the KL air club and take a private flight around KL in a cessna and drive it!!!

3.30pm- Go to the charity and donate every dollar any penny I have in my bank. With only 50 bucks in my wallet left.

4.00pm- Go to any Waterfall which is the closest. Just spend time there....

5.00pm- With my drench clothes, I will go to my favourite place in the world and just lay there till the sun set.

7.45pm- Eat dinner with my family.

9.30pm- Go somewhere people cant find me and look for an open sky.Listen to my ipod and laying down looking at the stars and recall my memories which I will just put a smile on my face.

10.30pm- Call people and apologize for what I've done wrong and wish them the dearest of luck.

11.00pm- The last hour of my life. I'll call the person who I'll only love in my life and tell them the things which I wanted to say but didn't. Ending with the conversation I love you forever and always.

11.59pm- Close my eyes and think of my life till.....

...if tomorrow doesn't come

the security of thinking of you...

Whenever I'm in my room trying to fall asleep. I think of you which always make me sleep better and the world slowly quiets down so that I can sleep. Always look in the sky just wondered if what my heart says is heard by anyone. Too bad I still have no reply which has stopped long time ago. Emo-ing as people say but I don't really care. Its best to just float away sometimes not to care about anything which matters. That's what I did then. I have made a sacred promise in my heart which will forever live on within me. I feel much better now. Have thought of lots of things through. Still wishing that it ends differently that what was already done.

...sleeping with a smile ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!

haircut....

I just got my haircut so.... I think its kinda weird. Happy though. Wanna do it for quite some time now.Anyways I have a new fringe and its kinda messy now. Trying to get use to it now... And I bet sooner or later someone is gonna ask me to clip it up. Well... All I'm gonna give them is a smile and a shrug of my shoulders. Its form 5 c'mmon I gotta do something bad before I leave.

....new me new style.

just when you think its over...is it really so?

You always keep me hanging by a thread and made me so worried about us. Seriously its not fun at all but worth it. Wondered if someone hangs you on one a thin piece of thread when you're about to fall to a bottomless pit. Have you felt this way? For people who are hanging there its very scary and you kept praying that something will happen to save your life. Eventually the thing which you least expected appears when you really want it and makes your day. Its really a sigh of relive to know that there is some way things could have actually change to what you've dream of. A breath of fresh air after slowly dying from suffocating into the dark. Your brain shuts down bit by but until there is nothing left and no purpose to continue anymore. That was the feeling that I had these past weeks and months. Now alive finally I will soldier on to a new day when everything I know and hope for will be there just waiting for me to catch with my bare hands to fulfill a better tomorrow.

...hanging by a moment

broken puzzle but somehow fixed...

Unsure about everything, I finally solved a puzzle which I totally though will take forever. Its something like solving this :

Now that I've fixed it. I'm still unsure will it stay that way or will be broken again by the lightest if touch.

...free-er (i guess)

goal-less

Dont know the reason for me to live on and take things seriously...

Help....

...like this since Dec 2007 till now

unloveable...

Some people are just so lucky to find someone who cares about them and feel the same way as they are. They are just so happy together but me... hahaha I have a habit to push people away whenever they are close. I just don't know why am I doing this. I just wanna isolate myself sometimes and have my own time but people tend to misunderstand. I'm sorry . Maybe its my problem because I cant let anyone in since my heart was ripped out and went missing. Blame me all you want. I know I have so much work to do mending my attitude and the awkwardness of pushing people away when they come too close. Hahaha like one of my friend said few years ago. LONER. Yea I think she's right. Sometimes I do feel left out and sometimes I just need time alone in my own little world. There are times I think if I continue like this I'm gonna die alone and no one will ever miss me. The only person who I let in has left me with hopes and pain. I still remember you promised me something but after waiting for two years... nothing. Its ok. I just hope that I have apart of your memories. Eventhough if its just a lil one. I'll be happy. You deserve someone better and I'm glad you do. Since I cant know about you anymore now, I still tried to find ways knowing so. I tried but those never last. I was happier before. Now when I get something I'm not happy and that explains the emotionless me. Just wanna know how are you doing now. Haven't heard from you for awhile now. Missed you anyways and I still do.

..better off alone